Kiki's Wild Child

Kiki is strong.  In her wake she claims two ex-husbands with whom she has three children.  She is the local powerhouse woman running her own salon--a gathering point for gossip, support, companionship, advice--until the women feel threatened by her strength and leave.  The revolving door of women who enter Kiki's salon has no end but this admiration seldom leads to friendship.  We agree being a strong woman in rural Japan is often a lonely predicament.

Kiki's middle child is Mini Kiki personified.  Opinionated, clear, Ruka states the obvious.  It never occurs to Ruka her thoughts shouldn't be expressed.  The older daughter has publicly stated she will "skip my wild years" for the sake of her mother.  "I don't need to rebel," Mona told Kiki.  "The other two will do that for me.  You need one responsible child out of us three."  My spoon stopped half way to my mouth when Kiki shared Mona's words.

"What 13-year old says that?" I say.
"I know," Kiki says.  "She's a bit scary, that one.  But, I believe her.  She won't rebel."
"Ruka, on the other hand," and I finally put the food in my mouth.

Ruka made it clear to Kiki she had no intention of going to greet the large ship that came to port.  Kiki made the mistake of announcing, "We all need to get up early tomorrow," which Ruka met with, "But, I haven't agreed to go."  As in, she was not consulted prior to mama making the decision.  Only when Kiki's boyfriend, her ex from high school explained to Ruka that "not everyone gets to go, you know" did it occur to Ruka attendance might be prudent.  "In that case...." Ruka tells her mother's beau.

Kiki and I meet for late dinners after the kids are bathed and in bed.  Her mother stays with the children on these nights out.  Mona accepts Kiki will be late.  "You're going out?  With whom?  Oh, you'll be late then."  Ruka is displeased.  "But, I told you I wanted to go along last time you went out to dinner.  Did you tell her I wanted to see her?" 

If you're not a woman and you don't live in rural Japan you will not understand what life is like here.  I'm sorry if that's a statement you find annoying, but I'm not sorry enough to delete it.  In many rural communities roles of women are more traditional.  Women look forward to the day they will become a beautiful bride.  Trying on wedding dresses and playing Cinderella for a day is fun. 

When expectations are more defined and less options is not seen as problematic raising daughters who do not fit the mold offers up a set of challenges few women know how to tackle.  Kiki is open about the fact there came a point where she made a decision.  "I decided not to crush Ruka's spirit.  I could have.  I could have forced her into a box.  To be the kind of girl who would grow up more proper and to fit in."  I laugh at this.

"As in, not like you."
"Not like me," Kiki laughs, too.
"But, I decided to let Ruka go.  She will be herself no matter what.  It scares me," Kiki says, "because she will be wild.  I won't be able to control her.  But, she'll be fun."

A big, big deal, this is.  Kiki chooses fun over fitting in and I love her for this.